My results were depressing. It was disastrous. It was preposterous. I've utterly lost faith in myself, and I am really confused what I am going to do next. Giving up used to not be an option for me, and yet now I don't know if it even applies. I feel like a failure, useless and stupid. Despite studying hard, I should've already known that studying hard ain't going to get my anywhere. What makes it more depressing is that I failed English for the first time in my whole life. Yeah, I won't fail for the overall grade for English, but I am not used to getting low grades for English. I feel so disappointed in myself, what more my parents.

My mom took it calmly when I told her on the phone, but deep down, I feel bad. I know my mom, although she might be disappointed, and it may be a hard blow to her, she knows it is even harder for me. I am so thankful to have a mom like her. My motivator, who never gives up on me. She always tells me that she knows I've tried my best, and whenever my dad wants to scold me, she'll protect me. She'll defend me. Even when my sister starts attacking me with insulting words.

Not forgetting, my friends. I'm sorry that I can't list down the names of friends cos there were too much, but thanks for being there for me when I was crying. Especially to Ms Malyanah, who always teaches me to never give up on myself.

I know that this post might be too wordy and all, but I am just venting all I have inside me right now. I love every one of you.


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